Cape Town - Ilobola or lobola has been in existence for centuries. It is practised widely in the Zulu, Xhosa, Ndebele and Swazi cultures and is a practice that spans the southern tip of Africa.
However, this traditional practice is often misunderstood - or made into websites and apps.
The Lobola calculator is one such example. According to its site, while users are encouraged to have a bit of fun, it was “designed after 157 hours of consultations, 45 meetings and meeting with over 100 elders.”
To find out where your lobola negotiations should start from, users are to answer several questions such as level of education, virginity, how many children you have, previous relationships, if you own a house or car and whether or not you can cook and/or like cooking.
However according to University of KwaZulu-Natal cultural expert Professor Sihawukele Ngubane, lobola is determined by one thing and one thing only. And that is love. Ngubane added that the factors mentioned on the site such as virginity, drinking habits and being a socialite does not determine llobolo.
“Both man and woman who are in love will make a decision to be married and then lobola kicks in. In response to this question is: Ilobolo is determined by LOVE.”
Ngubane added that there is no reduction of cattle if the woman is not a virgin.
“Ideally, in the past virginity was the pride of a bride. There is a slogan that says; “Yangena intombi emhlophe” ( A pure lady has arrived at the groom’s place). The whiteness in the slogan suggests that a women is a virgin and this was tested on the first night. The couple will sleep together on their first night after the wedding and elderly women will wake up early in the morning and check the sheets.
“ If there are blood stains, then it will be an evidence that the woman is indeed a virgin. Contemporarily, the virginity is overlooked and yet preferred. There is no reduction of cattle, the amount still stands amid drinking or virginity.“
Ngubane broke down how lobola is actually calculated.
“Ilobola was regulated by Sir Theophilus Shepstone after cases of conflict around the size and the amount of cattle that needed to be paid. Previously, anything that you own could be handed over to the bride’s family and was acceptable. The regulation was that ten cattle should be given to the bride’s family as a token of gratitude for the upbringing of their daughter. It is not a commercial transaction,” he explained.
“The eleventh cow is given to the mother of the bride for taking care of the bride throughout her life. It is called ’inkomo kamama’ mother’s cow. In total there are eleven cattle given to the family of the bride. In addition, there are some gifts that are given to the bride’s family members – izibizo. They provide the groom with a list of items to be purchased,“ Ngubane added.
He also explained the concept of gifts.
“The bride is given gifts ’umembeso’ (by the groom’s) family members. The bride is dressed up by the groom’s family – umkhehlo.”
IOL